There's No Way I'm Back.

At least that's what you're all thinking. You're all thinking; "There's no way he's back." Well, I am back.

After some ARNR higher-ups appointed thugs to lock me in a trunk and throw me in a lake - well... I'm back. You have to work much harder than that to keep me down. Way harder than that. Yeah... much harder. Still harder. Ok... that's close, but you're still not working hard enough.

AA

RIPPER JOINS THE GROUP

I would like everyone to extend a warm welcome to Ripper. Ripper is best known for writing all sorts of horrible things about us over at ARNR's forum. However, he has changed his ways and is now a full fledged member of the boycott. Welcome aboard pal!

THEME PARK REVIEW RIPS OFF COASTER TOOLS

Well, it was only a matter of time before the good people at Coaster Tools (although to be honest I'm a little leery of them) grew too big. Now, their idea for coaster related comics has been stolen by none other than Theme Park Review. These comics about "Little Robby Rob" are obvious rip offs of the much better quality Coaster Tools comics. Hey TPR! Here's an idea, how 'bout you quit stealing crap from other people and come up with something of your own? If I may borrow liberally from the great Dave Dameshek, "Some people may call you guys cool. I've got another name for you. JERKS!"

WHAT DO THESE GUYS KNOW ABOUT IT?

Coaster Tools seems to think they know a lot about making out on Ferris Wheels. I don't think it's true though.

IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?

So I noticed that there isn't much going on. You guys didn't all fall to the dark side did you? Don't do it!!! You might think ARNR is funny now, but just wait. Come back you guys. I miss you. :(

THEME PARK REVIEW TURNED INTO SOFTCORE PORNOGRAPHY SITE!!!

We knew they were trouble, but recent developments at arch-nemesis, Theme Park Review reveals that it is worse than we thought. The site, which was already full of unbelievable filth, has been turned into a soft core pornographic site. We at AAARNR&TPR cannot approve of the blatant pornography seen in many of the pictures. Everything from towel riding and nipple biting to cross dressing, alcoholism, and bestiality is clearly show in the calendar. There are children by the thousands surfing the Internet right now!!! What if one of them should accidentally come across this site? It could start them on a slow downward spiral that could ultimately lead to a life of drug abuse and depravity. These children's parents are very busy and do not have time to supervise their children's' Internet activities. It is up to us as responsible website owners to take care of these children, not the parents!! We strongly urge all of our members NOT to order the TPR calendar and not to visit the site. We will however make exceptions for the following months: July, October, May, July (again?), and especially September. Thank you for your support.

New Member Joins The Boycott

We at AAARNR,TPR,&ASO&CACT are pleased to welcome a super new member to the boycott: Super Steve. Steve is a great guy whose website, www.superstevessupersite.com, offers great information about Midwest amusement parks. On Steve's Super Site you can find pictures of several of the Midwest parks, all the latest amusement park news and info, and finally a great area called "Steveisms" that are rants about various topics Steve holds close to his heart. If you want some info about Midwest parks, or just want to help support the newest member of the Boycott, check out Super Steve's Super Site today.

Sadly, it is only a matter of time before ARNR finds out about Steve's site and makes fun of it. When that happens, we will be here to support Steve and welcome him back into the open arms of the Boycott.

Welcome aboard buddy.

One Down, One To Go

The original purpose of the Boycott was to shut down the tabloid known as Absolutely Reliable News & Rumors. Today I am proud to announce that we have achieved that goal! The website has not been updated in almost two weeks, no one is posting anything to their comments section, and their crappy message boards have been dead ever since that coward Ripper realized he was no match for me intellectually. I would personally like to thank everyone for their support of the Boycott and congratulate you all on accomplishing our primary objective. Now if we can just take care of Theme Park Review, our job will be complete.

Thank you again,

Aaron

ARNR Expands Their Empire Of Evil

In a move to attract more attention to themselves (Who am I kidding? Any attention to themselves would be nice.), ARNR has expanded their reaches into "taking care" of animals while people are on vacation or at work. No one is sure what the group means by "taking care", but you can probably guess. I guess when no one visits your website, you need to expand somehow. We at AAARNR&TPR would like to wish the group success in their new venture. (It can't be any worse than their current crap!)

Interview with Former ARNR chief

I don't want to clog up the main page with the interview, so click on the comments for this article to read a very insightful interview with former ARNR head JCK.

Aaron

The Theme Park Review Boycott is on again, STRONGER THAN EVER!

OK, I'd thought about giving them some leeway in lew of the recent addition.
But see, they're bashing a coaster already so the "BOYCOTT IS ON AGAIN!"

Shame on you TPR! We should have known better than to give you one minute of momentum.

SO WHAT IF IT'S SOB? You're not even giving it a chance.
BTW, we also blame you for the death of Psyclone!

SHAME!
SHAME!
SHAME!

Funky

Huh?

Uh, maybe it's just me, but I don't get it.

www.coastertools.com

More Proof of Theme Park Review NWO link

Two more pictures have recently surfaced providing astounding evidence that Robb and Elissa Alvey are not only members of the New World Order, but also reptilians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Reptilian_Agenda). This evil alien race is set to take over the world, and these 2 appear to be in the forefront of that movement. If any more proof is needed, I don't know what it would be. Theme Park Review is run by Reptilians!

Recent Poll reveals "No One Cares About ARNR!"

A recent poll was conducted to determine the relevance of Absolutely unReliable Lies & Mistruths (or ARNR as we call them). The results were no surprise to those of us at AAARNR&TPR. Of the 5,000 people surveyed, here are the most common responses:

4,996 people responded, "What in the heck is ARNR?"
3 people replied, "I hate those jerks! They made fun of me and my friends."
1 person responded with a weird look on his face, asking, "I thought that piece of crap site shut down years ago."

Overall, the results are conclusive, nobody cares about ARNR! Very few people have even heard of the site, and those who have think it's stupid. ARNR are losers!

ARNR Founder Joins the Boycott

I don't know how I didn't notice this until now, but it appears that former ARNR writer JCK has joined in with the Boycott. In a recent blog post, he apologizes for his part in the evil or ARNR and vows to help the Boycott out anyway he can. Go here and go down to the 14th reply:

https://www2.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=13645134&postID=7469901047121850106&isPopup=true

Welcome aboard JCK! We're glad that you've seen the light!

EVIDENCE ROLLS IN ABOUT THE DEATH OF ARNR

Not that we really needed anymore evidence after that amazing Cedar Point post a few days ago, but here are the nails in the coffin of ARNR anyway:

http://www.ultimaterollercoaster.com/forums/cgi/forum1.cgi?read=177640
http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=33306
http://www.screamscape.com/html/geauga_lake.htm - Make note of the "All American Cornhole Toss"
http://www.rideworld.com/boards/index.php?showtopic=1633&pid=12591&st=0&#entry12591
http://www.pointbuzz.com/maverickconstruction.htm
http://coasterbuzz.com/forum.aspx?mode=thread&TopicID=46567

I think those pretty much settle it.

ARNR PRACTICES DIVERSITY

In an effort to be more accomadating of special interest groups, Absolutely Reliable has recently taken on a new intern. This young man has numerous social and mental conditions that require medical treatment and medication. As can be readily evidenced from his posts, the young intern has a severe case of Tourettes syndrome, causing him to use an extremely inappropriate amount of profanity. While some sites would delete these posts in an effort to clean up their site, ARNR has chosen to leave them. This is apparently being done to promote free speech and to get the word out about this horrible illness. The young man also has a severe bipolar bent to him as can be seen by his constant states of hypomania. These and other problems seem to be the result of lead poisoning as a very young man. While it's difficult to be 100% certain as to the cause of these issues, the cure is simple. Let him express his anger, his frustrations, his mania, and his rage in a public forum so the whole world (or at least the 6 people who read ARNR) can see it.

Unlike some sites that would shy away from allowing such a person on their site (especially in his current, unmedicated state), ARNR has allowed him full access to all aspects of their site. While we still hate ARNR and will continue to Boycott them, AAARNR&TPR salute them for giving this young man a chance that many others would not give someone with his problems. Everyone does something right every once in a while and this seems to be that time for ARNR. We salute you for your patriotism ARNR. Now back to the Boycott!

PICTURES DON'T LIE: Proof of the TPR-NWO connection

We at AAARNR&TPR have the proof we have been looking for connecting the Alveys of TPR with the New World Order. Here is a picture of a recent occultic ceremony at Bohemian Grove (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bohemian_Grove):

I don't know about you, but that guy in the middle with the arrow pointing at him looks an awful lot like Robb Alvey to me. We rest our case.

OK: NOW WE'RE MAD

As if we thought we'd seen it all. As if we thought the derision and spittle on our faces couldn't get worse, we discover THIS. Whoever is responsible for THIS...
will die.

AA

LOCAL POLICE PUT OUT A.P.B.

I know sometimes we have a lot of fun on here, but this is serious business. I'll just copy and paste the article directly from the AP:

Police across the country are on the lookout for a mentally ill female. The suspect known simply as "Meg" has been reported for stalking various members of the rollercoaster enthusiast community. The suspect's motivation seems to be a demented love for the victim of the crime, who has requested to remain unnamed. Several photos were sent to the victim depicting the suspect in various states of undress. A strange car was also seen outside the victim's house several times during the past week.

Police report a similar incident several months ago involving "Trekkies" or Star Trek fans and a stalker named "Megan". If you have any information about this horrible crime, please contact your local police department or call the FBI.

So there it is. Pretty scary stuff if you ask me. Everyone just keep your eyes open for this "Meg" person and hopefully they'll catch this person so they can get the help they need.

Aaron