A recent poll was conducted to determine the relevance of Absolutely unReliable Lies & Mistruths (or ARNR as we call them). The results were no surprise to those of us at AAARNR&TPR. Of the 5,000 people surveyed, here are the most common responses:
4,996 people responded, "What in the heck is ARNR?"
3 people replied, "I hate those jerks! They made fun of me and my friends."
1 person responded with a weird look on his face, asking, "I thought that piece of crap site shut down years ago."
Overall, the results are conclusive, nobody cares about ARNR! Very few people have even heard of the site, and those who have think it's stupid. ARNR are losers!
77 comments:
Which only makes your site that much worse.
Weekly
Reeelly, nobody should care about anytheeeng.
TOTA
I guess you guys know there are people who want to basically maime you. They want to brutally maime you. They would love to see you die in very ugly ways.
Mr. Wilson
^
We would like to know who those people are so we can make amends.
AA
Sounds like typically ARNR stuff to me. If someone disagrees with you, either lie about them or try to kill them. It's really too bad it has to be that way . . . but it does. I'll keep my eyes open so I don't get "maimed". Thanks for the warning.
Since CMV is posting on here under several different names. (We all know ARN&R is down to one man) I take anything from the *PEANUT GALLERY* with a grain of salt.
Mame us? We're afraid!
Funky
Funky, I don't understand why you're afraid of the Multiple Arcade Machine Emulator. There is nothing frightening about it.
Wrong again. CMV only posts under one name, that being CMV.
And one of me is all ARN&R needs to defeat you handily.
You are many.
I am few.
CMV>you.
SHUT UP!
Tell 'em Jack!
AA
Go Jack Go!
Who is CVM?
And I kinda think we made the decision to have a comments section. You will observe that we have one.
Hugs,
ARN&R
P.S. AAARN&R isn't a club. There are no members. Well, there are, but I don't think you're using definition 2(b). If you are, well, bravo; we applaud you, member. (And to be sure, we are using definition 2(b) here.)
Please read carefully.
You are posting on AAARN&R, not ARN&R.
ARN&R has members, sort of, in that it has a forum that requires registration.
AAARN&R has no membership.
You are posting on a site that has no membership, though it has many 2(b) members.
So to start your sentences with "Members" makes no sense. Unless, again, you are referring to them all as penises. Which is quite plausible.
Did you join this site? No. You joined Google. Not every person who has ever obtained a Google or Blogger account is a member of AAARN&R. That is because there are no members of AAARN&R.
And of course one can refer to another as a "penis" without that person being male. Of course, I would never refer to Colleen as a penis, nor Tina nor Meg, though I suspect that Meg may in fact have a penis on alternate days.
But you might refer to them as that. I don't know how you roll.
Gosh, Jack, I have to say I'm again a little puzzled. It seems like you've admitted that you joined only Google, not AAARN&R, but you keep saying you're a member of AAARN&R. You're just not. And nobody else is either, so it seems to me like there's a pretty good argument that you're calling everyone else that other meaning of "member."
Again, I love your work and I can't wait to hear Steely Dan finally get a regular gig again, but I think you're sorta being dumb here.
AR&R said, ". . . Meg may in fact have a penis on alternate days". (There should have been commas around "in fact", but that's beside the point.)
Is this the kind of people you are supporting Meg? I think this really shows how little ARNR cares about anyone but themselves. If you want to continue to be insulted like this Meg, then by all means, continue to read the tabloid called ARNR. However, if you want to be treated like a human being than join us.
Aaron
Bzzt. Commas around "in fact" in that setting are optional.
No they aren't.
Sure they are. "In fact" is a parenthetic expression in this context. "If the interruption to the flow of the sentences is but slight, the writer may safely omit the commas." Strunk & White's Elements of Style.
Similarly, this site suggests that commas should "usually" be used but that term necessarily means they need not always be used.
Including commas surely would have been correct, but leaving them out is also correct.
SHUT UP!
You guys need not get all ruffled about this. All he means is that sometimes one of you impersonates me on here, which you KNOW you do.
Meg
Wow. How does that guy do links within the response like that. I don't even know how to do that and I'm supposed to be a moderator here. That's cool.
I'll say this, too. I didn't know any ARNR people knew about the Steely Dan steady gig connection potential along with Showcase Funpark. Who told them about that?
Other than those to things I wish their evil-ness-ess would be quiet.
AA
"Two" things, I meant, for all you language, grammar, and typo Nazis.
AA
Speaking of reenactors, have you thought about doing any Vietnam war reenactments with the same people who will be reenacting Steely Dan? That would be awesome.
Just read the original sentence. If you can honestly say you aren't pausing when you get to "in fact" than so be it. I have paused every single time I've read that sentence (about 150 times now). I original said "should" anyway, not that commas were required. "Should" would go along nicely with "usually".
Meg, do you, in fact, have a penis? I think not. I've seen the pictures and there was no form of male genitilia to be seen. Therefore, your friends at ARNR are lying about you. If you don't mind being lied about, I guess that's up to you. We both know you have very low self-esteem anyway.
Your friend,
Aaron
COOL
Steely Dan Reenactment at State Showcase. I'm there.
Oh, yeah. Something I've been wondering about: Will the Funpark have a waterpark? I was thinking about this since the Sea World in Orlando is really raising the bar with their new Waterpark. It'll be hard to top.
AA
Yeah, what the world needs is more cheap cover bands.
Meg
Cool. I'm pumped for the Showcase Funpark opening. My family and I are already planning on making that a regular vacation stop.
AA
JL57 wrote: "Meg every band was a cover band at one time!"
Wrong.
And yet you are still wrong.
Coldplay - never a cover band.
Arcade Fire - never a cover band.
Dead Kennedys - never a cover band.
U2 - never a cover band.
The Clash - never a cover band.
Sex Pistols - never a cover band.
So far as I can tell without having to learn much about a bad band, Steely Dan - never a cover band.
Did I mention that you're wrong?
Not a single one of the items you posted had anything to do with whether the bands were cover bands. (And if you were remotely music literate, you would know that Coldplay existed well before the relationship with Paltrow.)
Also, the DKs were around for some time after the obscenity trial (which they won). "Bedtime for Democracy" was released after that trial, which related to the Frankenchrist record and the art of Oscar-winning H.R. Giger.
And you actually provide two more good examples of bands that were not cover bands - Television and Joy Division.
So, getting back to what you actually said, which was (as you may recall), "Meg every band was a cover band at one time."
And again I note: You're wrong.
It wasn't the cover, it was a poster of an acclaimed painting that was inside the record cover. Any conviction would have been promptly reversed as the poster was far from obscene under the constitutional definitions, either then or now.
U2 did not play Television or Joy Division songs.
Coldplay played originals for those four years. Bands play original songs before releasing them on CD. They don't write a song and record it before playing it live. And I have no idea why you think Martin's relationship with Paltrow makes any difference at all.
Steely Dan, as I noted before and as you have ignored, was not a cover band. While they are in fact rather lame, you, unsurprisingly, seem to be fond of them.
Did I mention that you're wrong?
Welcome to the U.S. justice system, Jack. The prosecution was in state court. Any conviction would have been appealed first to the intermediate appellate court in California, and then to the California Supreme Court. If certiorari had been granted, then it could theoretically go to the U.S. Supreme Court. It would never have gone to the Ninth Circuit. And every one of those courts would have reversed. Did you ever actually take Civics?
U2 didn't play like Television or Joy Division. If you'd ever actually heard either of those bands, you would realize how insane a suggestion that is.
And still you ignore Steely Dan. Never a cover band, and yet one you (strangely) think is good.
As for Coldplay, X & Y sold 8.3 million copies in 2005 and was the best-selling album of the year. I'm thinking Chris Martin is doing okay financially. I happen to think they're overrated, but (a) still not a cover band and (b) extremely successful.
Wrong.
State courts pass on constitutional issues every day. The fact that a criminal (or civil) defendant raises a federal constitutional issue does not make the claim removable to federal court. If the band had been convicted, the appeal would have been to, and would have stayed in, the state courts. (There would be the theroetical possibility of -- after the complete appellate process had been completed -- a habeas proceeding, which could eventually have ended up in the Ninth Circuit, but that is plainly not what you're suggesting.)
"Album" remains the term used by the entities that measure the sales of music -- i.e., Billboard. It is not vinyl-specific. If you're cool with Wikipedia, it's where I got that citation, and they used that term too.
U2 being influenced by Television and Joy Division does not mean they sounded like them and, again, U2 was never a cover band. Nor was Television. nor was Joy Division.
I notice you still haven't mentioned your favorites Steely Dan. Never a cover band.
Can you just admit that you were wrong? You wrote, "every band was a cover band at one time!" That's clearly wrong. Then you revised it to be, "any band good enough to be considered one would be more accurate!" I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I think it means that "any good band was a cover band at one time." That's also plainly wrong. Admit it.
Really? You're going to poke at a typo in "theoretical" when you can't spell "Ninth"? And you type "were" instead of "where"? And "lets" instead of "let's"? Wow.
I have no idea what your point is about gold and platinum records, but I promise that I know more about the music industry than you do.
How about that Steely Dan question?
Wrong.
Moron.
"Ninth" is the correct spelling.
"Nineth" (your spelling) is not a word.
Perhaps visit the home page of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals to confirm. Or look in any dictionary; here is the American Heritage.
I am familiar with gold and platinum records. I do not know how their existence or shape makes any difference to your point, which seemed to be that I shouldn't use the term "album" to refer to the sales of Coldplay.
How about Steely Dan? Ever a cover band? Nope.
Wrong.
Did you notice Google suggesting that you actually meant "ninth"?
Or did you check to observe that there are over 42 million results for the correct spelling of "ninth"? The 323,000 result simply indicates that there are 323,000 other people very nearly as wrong as you.
Did you happen to check the Google results for "State Showcase Funpark"? Four results. Two of them relate to ARN&R posts about your delusion.
And no, there's no contradiction between the two posts. My first post said that I didn't know what your point was about the gold and platinum records, that I didn't know what gold and platinum records are.
How's that Steely Dan research going?
Ready to acknowledge that you're wrong yet?
I don't know why your so mean to jack tho he is kinda stupid seeming lol and I dont know what arn&r is but I just got back from a great weekend at the casino I won 200 bucks at BINGO!!!!
Sorry if Im a little funny but they had a special on pbr at the bar!!!!luv ya!!!
Well, that's convincing. Comparing an incredibly common name to a coaster site, yeah, that makes sense.
Steely Dan? Not a cover band.
"Nineth"? Not a word.
You? Wrong.
Uh-huh. So it's Meg's fault, is it, that you said that every band was a cover band? Way to take responsibility. And you claim to be conservative. What happened to personal responsibility? Shame, shame, shame.
Did Meg make you spell "ninth" wrong? And to have no understanding of the judiciary system?
Oh, and you: wrong.
Done now.
Hugs,
ARN&R
Jack,
Gotta say you're on your own here. I didn't say that every band ever was once a cover band, and I wouldn't, because I'm not a moron.
Meg
Jack, I have two very simple questions for you.
1. Did you post this? "Meg every band was a cover band at one time!"
Why, yes, you did.
2. Was that a true statement?
Why, no, it was not.
Jack, I think you misread my post. Let me give you another chance to answer.
Jack, I have two very simple questions for you.
1. Did you post this? "Meg every band was a cover band at one time!"
Why, yes, you did.
2. Was that a true statement?
Why, no, it was not.
I have no objection to the term "cover band." I object to your moronically suggesting that every band ever was once a cover band.
Answer the questions, Jack.
Jack, I hate to say it, but those seem like fair questions. Maybe you should admit that you're wrong on this one.
AA
Jack,
I think you misread my post.
1. Did you post this? "Meg every band was a cover band at one time!"
Why, yes, you did.
2. Was that a true statement?
Why, no, it was not.
Jack,
I think you misread my post. I'll clarify further since your reading level appears to be just above that of a chunk of granite. I've provided what I think to be the correct answers. You let me know if you agree.
1. Did you post this? "Meg every band was a cover band at one time!"
Why, yes, you did. Correct?
2. Was that a true statement?
Why, no, it was not. Correct?
I have access to a penis on any day I want, thanks to Aaron. For a while he was only around on alternate days (I think he may have been visiting Colleen), but now he's all mine.
On the main subject, Jack, I think you misread my post. I'll clarify further since your reading level appears to be just above that of a chunk of granite. I've provided what I think to be the correct answers. You let me know if you agree.
1. Did you post this? "Meg every band was a cover band at one time!"
Why, yes, you did. Correct?
2. Was that a true statement?
Why, no, it was not. Correct?
Answer the questions, Jack.
Aaron's mouth says no, but his penis says yes.
In any event, Jack, I think you misread my post. I'm starting to think that you're intentionally ignoring them, perhaps because you're wrong.
1. Did you post this? "Meg every band was a cover band at one time!"
Why, yes, you did. Correct?
2. Was that a true statement?
Why, no, it was not. Correct?
and let's add another:
3. Did you try to make an argument that "Nineth" was the correct spelling of "Ninth"?
Why, yes, you did.
Answer the questions, Jack.
Jack, again, it does look like you're avoiding answering the questions. If you can't admit that you're just wrong on this instead of blaming Meg, I don't know how you're going to attract people to your park, with or without Steely Dan reenactors.
I'm really proud of you for admitting that you spelled "Nineth" wrong, though I think you should also admit that you apparently really thought it was the right spelling (which I have to admit makes me question your ability to run a major theme park).
That was, well, nonsensical and (again!) nonresponsive, not to mention filled with its own incorrectly-spelled words, but entertaining.
Midwestern-educated, never schooled on either coast, but don't let facts get in your way,
Meg
I don't even know what a "Nazi from AA" would be, though I suppose there probably are some recovering alcoholics with Nazi tendencies. But I've got no problem with it.
By the way, you still haven't answered the questions. I can see why ARN&R said "done now," because you seem to be unwilling or incapable of acknowledging your obvious mistakes without blaming others. I'm sure the people you approach about investing will be really excited about giving money to someone who can't write, spell, or accept responsibility for his own mistakes. Good luck with that.
Oh, and you didn't even acknowledge that I'm a midwestern-bred kid, which kind of undercuts your whole "left coast" theory. But as I said before, don't let facts get in your way. You clearly never have before.
We didn't post any of those entries attributed to us. We are exploring legal action. We suspect Robb Alvey.
We still love Jack, even if he can't spell "nineth," "where," or many other words, or acknowledge any of his countless errors.
We still love him.
Really.
We love him.
Not in that way. He's married.
We love him.
Wow, that is convincing.
Or indicative of a substantial mental disorder.
You be the judge.
I hate 'em as much as anyone - it's my name, after all - but what errors did ARN&R supply?
And you still really haven't answered those questions.
And it kind of looks like you don't have much of a life, with how often you're here.
Did you actually read the story, though, Jack? It talks about the ride being in testing, with it being built in the bitter cold and tested during a brief warmup, with employees as test riders. And if you read the HoliBlog, Paula's talking about them testing the Turkey Whirl, though she doesn't mention the Tofurky parts, but I suppose she wouldn't. It really seems pretty credible to me.
I've ridden many Tilt-A-Whirls and know that the Turkey Whirl is a themed Tilt-A-Whirl. Did you know that the manufacturer sued to keep a band from naming itself Tilt-A-Whirl?
The problem with the Turkey Whirl was with the one ride carriage they tried to make with Tofurky, a soy-based turkey substitute product. They were trying that to make their vegetarian guests more comfortable.
The Tofurky ride carriage worked fine when they tested it below freezing (as it would), but then it got softer. All the rest of the ride had worked fine, as you can see here, on a post on Holiday World's blog back in February when it was clearly very cold.
As the ARN&R news story indicates, not only will the park abandon the plans to use Tofurky in the ride, but they're also not going to make waterslide tubes out of tempeh.
So of course the park will get the ride working again, but without the Tofurky seat.
Will you provide vegetarian options for your guests on your rides?
AA
I'm curious how someone posted a message under my name. Any thoughts? I have been saying for months now that Meg should leave me alone, that I am happily married, and that I have already filed a complaint with authorities and have a restraining order against her. Why would I then post that I lust for her? It makes no sense. Whoever posted that will probably burn in Hades, but that is not for me to decide.
Aaron
Of course, where did that picture come from? From ARN&R's store. That makes me think that maybe that supposed "real" Aaron is an ARN&R plant since he has access to their graphics.
Members that is an excellent point.
Members with my abilities it is easy to see that the use of a graphic from the tabloid ARN&R may suggest a traitor.
First members look at Wildonescoasterclub.
Secondly look and you will see an image.
Thirdly look at the link that Weekly provided to the tabloid ARN&R's store
Members final step is to compare the images.
How do they compare? Thats right they are the same.
But then you're saying that ARN&R is against ARN&R, since the Boycott ARN&R logo is on the ARN&R store site. How can that be? It Can't! to use your random capitalization approach.
Members the 2:30 JL57 isn't me. Members the posts about people named Robb and Elissa and people like that aren't me either.
Members how can I prove that is so? Why would the future owner of a theme park so dominant that it scared multiple major park operators out of Ohio care in the least about people like that? Members do you think Dick Kinzel cares about Robb and Elissa Alvey? Members it should be easy for the fake JL57 to prove that the presidents of any of the major park companies care enough about people like that to post on blogs like this!
Members the fake JL57 should never take on the real JL57!
Members if you think IAAPA and the Colbert Report are the same as posting gossip about the people who run a little website then I encourage you to believe the fake JL57 is me!
Members the fake JL57 thinks that Dick Kinzel attending an event with thousands of vendors is the same as gossipping about people who do not matter!
Members I can only tell you that the fake JL57's park won't be as good as my real one!
Will Koch does not have a blog. The park has one (as does Cedar Point, incidentally), written by its PR director, as part of its PR and marketing efforts. Does she gossip about the owners of little websites? No.
Of course Will approved it. But you suggested the blog's existence as evidence that he had the time or interest to gossip about the owners of unimportant websites. He obviously does not. The fact that you apparently do is proof positive that you have no actual life, nor any actual chance of opening an amusement park.
And your sentence -- try diagramming it -- says that Will Koch has a blog. If you intended to say that the park has a blog, you should say, "Will Koch owns Holiday World and Splashin' Safari." (Note: he owns a controlling share, but is not the sole owner.) And then you should say, "Holiday World's website includes a blog."
Also, "ownes" is not a word. Try "owns." How are those midwestern schools working out for you now?
Thanks for pointing out how to tell the difference between the real me and the fake one. It should not be an issue anymore.
Aaron
Indeed, thanks. Hopefully everyone can remember that the one who uses images from the enemy is the fake me, and I am the real me.
Wow, you've been to all 50 states? Oh, wait, so have truckers on meth who get one vacation in Hawaii. That actually has nothing to do with you having a life.
You also didn't "leave out" a letter in the word. You added a letter in more than one post. In what delightful midwestern school system did you fail to learn how to spell "owns"?
As for your theme park/amusement park distinction, it, like most of your arguments, fails. As the American Heritage dictionary points out (as does Wikipedia, "theme park" is a category of amusement park. While not all amusement parks are theme parks, all theme parks are amusement parks.
Of course, the biggest problem with your argument is its assumption that your park will ever exist. It won't.
And, as usual, you ignore the actual substance of arguments, which is that no actual president of an actual park, whether now existing or planned in the future, would ever bother gossipping like an eighth-grade girl about people who run a silly little website.
Good point. You never claimed midwestern heritage when criticizing west coast schools. So: where did you go to school to learn to spell "owns" as "ownes" and "individual" as "individule"?
And yet again, you respond nonsensically. You said that your (never-to-exist) park was not going to be an amusement park, but a theme park. "Theme park" is a subset of "amusement park," as I showed, and yet you just rambled about when Lake Compounce came into existence. When Disney opened, it was, indeed, a theme park, but also an amusement park.
And of course, I didn't say you were a trucker on meth, only that your travel provided no evidence of you having a life.
And, as usual, you ignore the actual substance of arguments, which is that no actual president of an actual park, whether now existing or planned in the future, would ever bother gossipping like an eighth-grade girl about people who run a silly little website.
Have a good day, eighth-grade girl. Do you make your lower-case "i" with a little heart over it?
What more can be said? How about that I have better reading comprehension than JL57, a/k/a Tiffani.
I said that you had a good point about whether you had claimed midwestern heritage. That was the only good point you made, and in fact I think the only good point you've made in the last month or so.
Do you post from your study hall, Tiffani57?
Okay, "real Aaron". Here's some simple questions for you:
What is your wife's name?
What is the name of your first born?
What is your favorite wooden coaster?
If you are really Aaron (without the picture), these should be easy to answer.
Signed,
The Real Aaron
My name is John Titor. I'm a time traveler from the future. I have been to State Showcase Funpark in the year 2036 and can tell you all, without a doubt, that this is the greatest theme park, excuse me, Funpark, in the world. Keep the faith JL, because your park WILL be something special in the future.
Titor, out
Done.
Real Aaron
I did that.
AA
That wasn't me who did anything. Quit impersonating me you bastards.
AA
My guess is that the 6:08 AA is a phony. As the 12:38 AA pointed out, he would not use the "B" word. If you are going to impersonate someone, you should probably make it more realistic. Duh!
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