Expert Says "Boycott Brings Balance"

A noted psychologist (affectionately known by her followers as "Ask Beth") recently stated in a public forum that AAARNR is "bringing balance" to coasterdom. Though ARNR authors are yet to admit it, she states that it's clear the "blog is having an impact" (The ARNR authors could not be reached for comment - if they could, they'd probably be in complete and utter denial, being the slime and stench that they truly are... repugnant, gutter vacuuming, lickers-of-hair-lice-off-used-combs communists).

AA

My Summer and ARNR

Now that my kids are back in school, I thought I'd talk about my summer. Initially, I had plans
(as always) to chain-ride coasters at a fervant pace while dragging my family all over the country in a rented RV (on a maxed-out credit card).

While we were in the planning stages, however, those words, attitudes, and of course "articles" of ARNR kept running through my head. Themes like neglectful (even abusive) dads forcing kids on rides (or leaving them in cars - etc).

So this year, we didn't do all that. This year... we went to the beach.

Some of you know that California's central coast is one of the most beautiful locations in the world. From Shell Beach to Morro Bay to San Simeon... the landscape is awe-inspiring. No wonder Mr. Hearst would settle for no other place to build his historic "castle." Between swimming/board games with the kids, and long sunset walks/talks on the beach holding hands with my wife - this has been a summer that my family will never forget. My wife and kids have expressed that they feel "closer to me than ever before." This summer's activities have spawned adulation such as "every summer should be like this..." and... "you're our dream dad."

In short...

THANKS ARNR.

You've RUINED my LIFE.

AA

Tracking ARNR Members Proves Successful

Fellow Americans, as you know, several members of AAARNR were recently out tracking
(or as we like to say "trekking") those ARNR jerks. Most of you already know that we were able to confiscate some towels as well as some kind of strange t-shirt. We also were able to rummage through some garbage cans outside of their hotel rooms in order to find out any information we deem necessary to help our cause. Aside from some credit card receipts and used dental floss, we thought our efforts were proving futile until we discovered - the car/automobile being used by one of the authors of that sickly site. Upon opening the door of the car an rummaging around we discovered - a CD "collection" (and we use the term loosely). Thumbing through the collection we said to one another; "What kind of truly twisted, disturbed individuals are we REALLY dealing with?" NONE of us had EVER even HEARD of ANY of these "groups" (?) Many will recall that ARNR recently promoted an event using the band Def Leppard as a kind of promotional aid. Well, get this... there was not ONE DEF LEPPARD CD IN THE COLLECTION. NOT EVEN PYROMANIA! While the "Rock of Ages is still rolling" with a one-armed drummer, these liars continue to misrepresent themselves and deceive their readers into thinking they're something they're not. Also NOT to be seen were ANY OTHER KICK-HEINE bands like OZZY, KISS, or even POISION. As far as we're concerned, this RIPS the LID off ANY SEMBLANCE of "IMAGE" those LOSERS have tried to maintain. I don't know how anyone can read this FACTUAL information and still think those twerps are "cool."

More to come. Much more.

AA