Monday, August 01, 2005

Tracking ARNR Members Proves Successful

Fellow Americans, as you know, several members of AAARNR were recently out tracking
(or as we like to say "trekking") those ARNR jerks. Most of you already know that we were able to confiscate some towels as well as some kind of strange t-shirt. We also were able to rummage through some garbage cans outside of their hotel rooms in order to find out any information we deem necessary to help our cause. Aside from some credit card receipts and used dental floss, we thought our efforts were proving futile until we discovered - the car/automobile being used by one of the authors of that sickly site. Upon opening the door of the car an rummaging around we discovered - a CD "collection" (and we use the term loosely). Thumbing through the collection we said to one another; "What kind of truly twisted, disturbed individuals are we REALLY dealing with?" NONE of us had EVER even HEARD of ANY of these "groups" (?) Many will recall that ARNR recently promoted an event using the band Def Leppard as a kind of promotional aid. Well, get this... there was not ONE DEF LEPPARD CD IN THE COLLECTION. NOT EVEN PYROMANIA! While the "Rock of Ages is still rolling" with a one-armed drummer, these liars continue to misrepresent themselves and deceive their readers into thinking they're something they're not. Also NOT to be seen were ANY OTHER KICK-HEINE bands like OZZY, KISS, or even POISION. As far as we're concerned, this RIPS the LID off ANY SEMBLANCE of "IMAGE" those LOSERS have tried to maintain. I don't know how anyone can read this FACTUAL information and still think those twerps are "cool."

More to come. Much more.

AA

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

What? This can't be true. It just CAN'T! You mean they didn't have any Bulletboys? Danger Danger? Warrant? Britney Fox?

NO WINGER????

What has this world come to? And I thought they were cool.

I am so depressed right now I need to dig out my Dangerous Toys and Babylon AD cassettes.

They at LEAST had all of Trixter's CD's though, right?

Funky_Cold_Medina said...

Nope, Not even that.

After exam of the T shirt and towels, There was no DNA of any of these bands either. Proving they've never even been to a concert of any of their so called favorites.

Since there has been nothing mentioned from the Dells. Im hoping some good AAARN&Rer up there took care of the little problem.

Tina, I tried to tell you they weren't cool. LIke Carlito says. Dat's not Cool!

Join AAARN&R
Now Dats Cool!
Chuck

Anonymous said...

Sorry, Tina.

All reports coming in from field reps are telling us the ARNR people
don't like ANY of the really cool bands.

No Ratt, or even old school favs like Ted Nugent or Blue Oyster Cult.

Funky said he thought they were listening to some kind of underground "artsy" bands.

Sickening.

-Rev

Anonymous said...

BTW,

I'm actually considering being involved in my own ARNR author pursuit and written expose.

Especially since being banned from
CnA. I don't have much else to do.

-rev

AmericanAgainst said...

There's also a rumor going around
that one of the current ARNR article headings makes fun of a Styx song, and that REALLY burns me.

We're getting geared up to see Styx soon at one of our local casinos.

Those guys wouldn't know a classic if it crested a lift hill and dropped into their living room.

-AA

Anonymous said...

They lied to me. I can't believe it. How can they NOT own Pyromania?

It's a disgrace to humanity, let alone Def Leppard. And at least everyone NEEDS to own something from Poison, especially "Talk Dirty To Me".

Now I am in the mood for GNR's Appetite For Destruction. I am so angry. So sad. So devastated. They insulted me as a lifelong "rocker" chick.

<------shakes head.

Funky_Cold_Medina said...

Rev, Your not banned from CNA

Check your mail

Anonymous said...

I sent him one too. ;-)

We only ban people who DON'T like Duran Duran, silly. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Oh by the way, looks like Chuck and Katie are being mocked again in one of the latest sidebars. Heheheheh.

Now ARN&R's "coolness" factor rises with me again. :-)

I am regressing. I know.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, they're always rippin on Chuck. They ripped on Coaster Tony
for his Boulderdash rides, too.

I think we rode with "Coaster Tony" when we were out there. There was some solo guy dressed like a sales manager marathoning with us. I was glad I wasn't the only on riding while wearing a tie.

I wish ARNR would leave people like us alone.

-rev

Funky_Cold_Medina said...

not me, I crave abuse :)

Chuck, thining if them low lifes over at ARN&R have nothing to do but talk about me, Then Im somebody :)

Chuck, a nobody really but I must be more popular than ARN&R peeps