My First Article

This is my first article and I'm not sure what all to say. AA encouraged me to do this so I did. I just want to say that those ARN&R guys are mean and I'm not going back there anymore. I think the Duran Duran bit is what pushed me over the edge.

Jim

"ARNR Fan" Gets Banned from AAARNR

After a deep, heart-felt struggle, it's been decided that the one known as "ARNR Fan" is now officially BANNED from this site. It's not in our nature to ban people, since we're typically respectful of people's views and tastes. This individual, however, has just gone too far. Though some presented the argument "keep in mind he's one of the only regular readers you have on the site" - we're sticking to our guns. We'd rather have a site that nobody reads than have a site that HE reads. For those of you who feel he was a contributor here and enjoyed his rantings, we apologize.

We realize that this will change the dynamic of this site considerably. Although we're thankful in some ways for his frank input, the decision has been made (the council has voted) and he's gone, never to return again (ever).

This is probably an appropriate time to explain our reasonings behind the "banning" of this individual. Our sources tell us that he e-mailed a written message to someone. This person (whom he shouldn't have been e-mailing to begin with) opened the unwanted e-mail and discovered a written message. The person discovering the message then forwarded the e-mail to someone else. When that person received it... he read it. It's a shame that all this is going on. Once again, we feel it's in the best interest of this site to permenantly BAN "ARNR fan."

There are some rumors going around that some on this site feel like he SHOULDN'T have been banned. Those rumors need to stop. We know that people have their sentimental favorite contributors, but what must be done must be done. Be certain that the AAARNR administration team has been deliberating about this for quite some time. Besides literally losing sleep over this, several members of the team have become physically ill. Be mindful that our site is read by numerous people within the coaster community industry and that flagrant posters, if allowed to continue in their "ways," can prove detrimental to us ever being able to host any kinds of events at parks.

We're certain if all those reading this knew all the facts about the situation they'd side with the decision that's been made. On my own part, I even made a phone call to a member of my family (my mother) about the decision before "pulling the plug" (so to speak). It's our stated goal that as many people as possible will be able peruse the information found on this site without this ever having to happen again. Somehow, we should all be able to enjoy the company of other like-minded people who hate ARNR without the kind of flagrancies going on that make the experience of coming here less enjoyable. Once again, if this decision has offended anyone, we're sorry, but it just has to be this way.

Since we are in no way are trying to depreciate the fond memories that people have of ARNR fan, we're going to let his existing posts remain on the site. The posts themselves are now forever archived and nothing can change that, like the good times they represent to some. Some will likely read them and say "if they represent good times, why does it have to end this way?" Never mind that, what's done is done. There are principles that have to be maintained in order for this to be the quality site that people know and love. If you have any more questions about this decision, or any other decisions pertaining to AAARNR's website, feel free to email us and, if need be, we can spend hours (or even days) discussing it. Until people are ready to discuss this issue like adults, however, let's be of one mind in getting back to our usual pursuit of bringing down ARNR.

AA
Moderator

Boycott Halts ARNR's Production for Two Weeks

Rumor has it that ARNR is slowing down significantly as a result of YOUR boycott. Our sources say that for an entire two weeks no articles were posted. Also, we understand they were forced to post a very uncharacteristic "apology."

While this apology is a start... we're now going to be waiting for them to apologize for EVERY OTHER article they've EVER posted... and then, for them to shut completely down.

Until then... keep the boycott alive.

AA

Expert Says "Boycott Brings Balance"

A noted psychologist (affectionately known by her followers as "Ask Beth") recently stated in a public forum that AAARNR is "bringing balance" to coasterdom. Though ARNR authors are yet to admit it, she states that it's clear the "blog is having an impact" (The ARNR authors could not be reached for comment - if they could, they'd probably be in complete and utter denial, being the slime and stench that they truly are... repugnant, gutter vacuuming, lickers-of-hair-lice-off-used-combs communists).

AA

My Summer and ARNR

Now that my kids are back in school, I thought I'd talk about my summer. Initially, I had plans
(as always) to chain-ride coasters at a fervant pace while dragging my family all over the country in a rented RV (on a maxed-out credit card).

While we were in the planning stages, however, those words, attitudes, and of course "articles" of ARNR kept running through my head. Themes like neglectful (even abusive) dads forcing kids on rides (or leaving them in cars - etc).

So this year, we didn't do all that. This year... we went to the beach.

Some of you know that California's central coast is one of the most beautiful locations in the world. From Shell Beach to Morro Bay to San Simeon... the landscape is awe-inspiring. No wonder Mr. Hearst would settle for no other place to build his historic "castle." Between swimming/board games with the kids, and long sunset walks/talks on the beach holding hands with my wife - this has been a summer that my family will never forget. My wife and kids have expressed that they feel "closer to me than ever before." This summer's activities have spawned adulation such as "every summer should be like this..." and... "you're our dream dad."

In short...

THANKS ARNR.

You've RUINED my LIFE.

AA

Tracking ARNR Members Proves Successful

Fellow Americans, as you know, several members of AAARNR were recently out tracking
(or as we like to say "trekking") those ARNR jerks. Most of you already know that we were able to confiscate some towels as well as some kind of strange t-shirt. We also were able to rummage through some garbage cans outside of their hotel rooms in order to find out any information we deem necessary to help our cause. Aside from some credit card receipts and used dental floss, we thought our efforts were proving futile until we discovered - the car/automobile being used by one of the authors of that sickly site. Upon opening the door of the car an rummaging around we discovered - a CD "collection" (and we use the term loosely). Thumbing through the collection we said to one another; "What kind of truly twisted, disturbed individuals are we REALLY dealing with?" NONE of us had EVER even HEARD of ANY of these "groups" (?) Many will recall that ARNR recently promoted an event using the band Def Leppard as a kind of promotional aid. Well, get this... there was not ONE DEF LEPPARD CD IN THE COLLECTION. NOT EVEN PYROMANIA! While the "Rock of Ages is still rolling" with a one-armed drummer, these liars continue to misrepresent themselves and deceive their readers into thinking they're something they're not. Also NOT to be seen were ANY OTHER KICK-HEINE bands like OZZY, KISS, or even POISION. As far as we're concerned, this RIPS the LID off ANY SEMBLANCE of "IMAGE" those LOSERS have tried to maintain. I don't know how anyone can read this FACTUAL information and still think those twerps are "cool."

More to come. Much more.

AA

Sad day for trekkies :-(

It's a sad day for the enthusiast community

James Doohan (Scotty) of Star Trek fame is dead.at the young age of 85.

Everyone loved Scotty, Scotty could do anything and was in fact the real star of Star Trek. When he was needed, He was there!

Now he's no longer here to HOLD IT TOGETHER.

Everyone knows real enthusiast are Trekkies also. We shall truly mourn his loss but celebrate his beam up to Heaven.

It would be generous if ARN&R would leave us alone at our time of mourning. (Like that's ever going to happen until we destroy them). And let us grieve in our own ways until we can find another original hero. Maybe Spock!

I truely feel that another piece of what we are is missing and I was just getting over the loss of Deforest Kelly (BONES/Doc).

Long live Scotty's spirit, He was proof anything is possible! Even the defeat of the evil Romulans that are ARN&R

Funky, Running out of Trek originals to dress up as.

AAARNR blamed for stolen t-shirt and beach towels

My sources have told me that ARNR thinks we stole their precious indie t-shirt, and beach towels. Well it happens, looks like someone is out of a t-shirt. And they had to actually had to spend money and buy their own new HW t-shirts. Great PR for the park! They have to make some money somehow.

Katie

Tracking the ARNR authors

Sources have revealed that several of the ARNR authors are traveling. That being the case,
we're going to take it upon ourselves to "track" them. Soon we will have numerous new "angles"
from which to... "report."

Funky (our field reporter) has informed us that there is some infighting going on at ARNR about whether they should / shouldn't like or even discuss Star Trek / Star Wars. It's obvious that we're beginning to have an impact on them. Predictions are also coming in about ARNR's demise being sooner than what even WE anticipated.

Remain strong and American while we track those... ones...
We'll have more to report on soon (what they eat, where they sleep, what their hobbies are - things about their families - - - all kinds of juicy items). Everything you need to know in order to better - know how to - stay away from them.

AA / Funky
(*Tina... be good while we're gone. We're trusting you)

Extensive Research Confirms - ARNR LIES

Most of you are very much aware of the morbid, sordid, unsightly and unmentionable things you'll encounter when logging on at... that SITE. However, what most of you are probably not aware of is ... that SITE regularly descends to an even lower abyss. To state it clearly and plainly, we at AAARNR have recently assigned research assistants who've bravely agreed to keep us abreast of all the low-down, pathetic morsels of filth being spewed forth from the dark towers of... that SITE. These same research assistants, after reading thousands of hours worth of horrid articles, have also made the strenuous effort of "doing the leg-work" to research the BACKGROUND of these SAME articles in order to see if the claims can be verified. To our complete shock and utter dismay (you might want to sit down and take a deep breath before reading this), not ONLY is ARNR's subject "matter" fit only for public urinals, but ALSO (now hear us out - we can prove it) ALSO... MUCH of ARNR's SUBJECT MATERIAL ITSELF
CONTAINS FLAT OUT LIES!

You're reading this correctly: LIES.

According to our research team, the perfect example of pure LYING is seen in a current article by one "JCK" on the subject of "Ritalin Harpoons." The article states there are (or will soon be) FDA approved "Ritalin Harpoons" available for the public to use on "hyper" youngsters. Fellow Americans, our assistants have put in the time and effort to thoroughly check this out with the FDA ITSELF and have discovered that - BEYOND a SHADOW of a DOUBT - THIS IS A LIE. Nobody at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has EVER even been CONTACTED about the APPROVAL of a so-called "Ritalin Harpoon."

Be mindful, again, we needn't not own this special information to have enough valid reason to avoid... that SITE. We're all well aware that just the subject matter itself is so vile that it shouldn't even be brought up except behind closed doors. However, beyond THAT.... beyond THAT... after hours, days (months) of phone calls, reading of documentation, and in some cases even TRAVEL, our research team is CERTAIN beyond ANY POSSIBILITY of PLAUSIBLE COUNTER-ARGUMENTS that SOME if not MANY of ARNR's "articles" are pure, unadulterated LIES that have LIKELY been MADE UP by AUTHORS such as "JCK."
Some here at AAARNR are even wondering if there IS such an author. Others, are not even completely certain if the site ITSELF exists, but those are subjects we'll tackle at some future time.

Friends, please continue to stay informed through us here at AAARNR as we remain committed to bringing you even more information about ARNR's subject material that you might continue to understand why you should NEVER, for ANY reason grace... that SITE with your presence.

Also, please keep in mind that our research assistants are currently working on a purely volunteer status, though the time and effort they're putting in is the equivalent of at least a
part-time job. That being said, you're all likely aware that with current gas prices and even airline costs, these researchers are sacrificing much on your behalf. Please, if you find this information helpful to your personal lives (and we know you do)... please consider giving small, regular donations to our organization. Checks and money orders can be made payable to AAARNR RESEARCH ASSISTANTS. Our administrators wish to be up-front with the fact that 100% of this money goes to the research assistants and their expenses, and is not in any way used on administrative costs.

We're confident that you, our fellow Americans, will help with this fight in every way you can.

Sincerely,
AA

Funpark President Intensifies His Indictment Against ARNR

Funky (our field reporter) located this intensified indictment against ARNR as posted by JL57, President and Owner of The State Showcase Funpark. Our readers will note that he also directly commends AAARNR in its efforts against ARNR, and exhorts all readers not to waste time "reading an online magazine of such ill repute." Our sentiments exactly.

Tina, if you're reading this: Stop it. Stop it NOW. What more reason could you possibly need? STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

AA

Funpark Founder Exposes ARNR Blunder

Many of you know that JL57 (Jackm50) is the founder/visionary of soon to be revealed revolutionary theme park known as the "State Showcase Funpark." Following ARNR's scathing attack upon him and the Funpark, Jack has now posted concise, documented proof of ARNR's miscalculations (and how this reveals their "lack of abilities and intelligence"). The Funpark founder's thoroughly researched report can be read here.

As you can see, by grossly miscalculating the estimated cost of the Funpark, ARNR has once again evidenced shoddy journalism of the lowest kind.

AA

Field Report: Holiday World Joins Fight

Fellow Americans,
The following report just came in from "Funky" - the new AAARNR field reporter. Please read his article and also welcome "Funky" to our staff.
AA


Yes, it's true folks. We have our first park on board to defeat the evil ARNR.

Not long ago, when challenged to a bowl-off, ARNR cowered in fear and refused to acknowledge us (knowing site pink slips were on the line). In an effort to rid the world of the dastardly demons that are ARNR, this challenge remains open.

Of all things, I've recently discovered that Holiday World is already prepping for this event. This all looks like some kinda fun at Holiday World, but believe me, they are preparing to defeat the pesky ARNR bowlers (though they still refuse to accept the challenge). We here at AAARNR are grateful to Holiday World for sending us only the best of the best bowlers on their staff. With the help of HW, ARNR doesn't stand a chance.

Thanks HW for all your help in our continuing effort. Rest assured we will contact you when the COWARDLY ARNR accepts the challenge. Until then, keep practicing, although I'm sure there's not much need. If ARNR's bowling skills are like thier journalism skills, we will win easily.

Funky (from the field)

"American Woman" Kate Comes on AAARNR Staff

Fellow Americans, I'm proud to introduce Kate as the newest member of the AAARNR staff.
Aside from having years of counseling experience, Kate has also been personally victimized by ARNR (like the other members of our staff). Kate is certain to bring a much needed expertise
for how to be an ARNR overcomer, and her personal testimony should clear up any questions regarding the genuine intentions of this site. Please welcome her.
AA

Week Old Site Prompts Confusion

Fellow Americans, today is the "one week anniversary" of the birth of this fine site. While responses continue pour in from well-meaning people everywhere, some confusion seems to exist concerning our intentions. Some are convinced that that boycott is "bull" (in fairness, likely not meaning the female counterpart to the cow, but instead meaning a "farce," a "scam," a "hoax"). Others, however, are merely seeking clarity to clear up the confusion. An example of this viewpoint is seen in this post by Desmond who signs in as Eric Gieszl. Believe me, we have no intention of prompting confusion in the mind of Desmond who signs in as Eric Gieszl. Whether we're addressing Desmond, Guido De Vido, or anyone else, we want to be as straightforward as possible in our communication (since we're certain they'd be willing to do the same for us). After discussion within the AAARNR staff, we're perplexed as to how our intentions could be misunderstood. Apart from the inaugural articles on this site, Aaron's posted response should provide clarity enough for any who are in doubt about the true, deeply felt, contempt we feel for those despicables who spew forth sordid splatterings of spit and spin.
Sincerely,
AA

Temptation Can Be A Powerful Thing

Earlier today, I was browsing through one of the rollercoaster related message boards I frequent. I usually post on 16 different boards and try to have something new to say on each one, each day. On this particular board, I saw a post linking to that other "site". I quickly read through the post and what the person had to say sounded very humorous. "Maybe", I thought, "I could just go check out this one story at ARNR. It's not like they're making fun of ME." The temptation to stray from our hard line was overwhelming. Unfortunately, I clicked on the link and ARNR started to come up. "Stop!" screamed a voice from somewhere in my head. "Is it really worth it?" I instantly realized what I was doing was wrong! I quickly closed the browser window before I saw anything I would regret. I shut down the 'net and went to do some yardwork. I know the temptation to "take a quick peak" at ARNR is strong. I almost fell for it myself. Stay strong and don't give in to the temptation. With hard work and determination, we will meet our ultimate goal, and the online rollercoaster community will be free from evil once again.

Aaron

I Know a Guy Named Al

I know a guy named Al who likes ARNR. Not me, I hate ARNR.

Support Pours In For Landmark Start

Being that the response to this site has started out in such an enormous showing of force, it's likely to accomplish its given purpose sooner than what we initially expected. In some ways, we pity ARNR. When the ARNR towers fall, all of us "commoners" will have the last laugh (even though nobody here is laughing very much right now). Still, we hold our heads high. As the Journey song goes - we "don't stop believing." Some seem to think that presently there are only a couple of people involved in this effort, but they couldn't be more wrong. There are actually, well... three. There's Aaron... (wasn't that a splendid article below? If you haven't read it I highly recommend scrolling down and checking it out). As I was saying, there's Aaron, there's me... and, well... there's also my mom who keeps giving me advice (some of which I listen to). Numbers don't really matter to us though - it's INTENSITY that counts. Believe me, the THREE of us are INTENSLY committed to NEVER reading ARNR. Also, sure... I'll admit it gets lonely at times, but not having any friends anymore is nothing compared to the satisfication and sense of accomplishment we share.

I envy us.

-AA

A Change of Heart

When I first discovered Absolutely Reliable News and Rumors, I read the site with great zeal. I couldn't help but laugh at how they made fun of those dorky coaster enthusiasts. I would check the site every day to see who would be next on the hit list. Oh how I laughed when I saw the first rip of Robb Alvey on ARNR! What a great time I had reading about JackM50 and his State Showcase Funpark! Then one day, there it was. A friend of mine, one of the actual cool coaster enthusiasts, appeared on ARNR. "Well," I thought, "one little comment isn't too bad." I continued (like many of you) to read the site. A couple of days later, there it was again. This time me. My good name was put up for all to see. "Look at this idiot!" they seemed to be saying. My world was shattered. No longer were these fun-loving friends of fanactical fury. They were doing something wrong, something evil. I quickly realized how wrong I had been to read that site. I quickly vowed to no longer frequent the site. No longer would I support evil! Within days I started "The Thread" and the rest, as they say, is history. Scores of people joined my side. Within a month, ARNR's hit count dropped by over 50%. Today, their readership is only 1/3 what it once was. We will continue to fight through persecution until our goal is accomplished and hatred is wiped out. Soon, justice will prevail and ARNR will die. Thank you for your support.

WildOne

Hatred Has Some Exceptions

Many of you are well versed in the hatred and contempt we have here at "Americans Against" for the low-life sickness known as ARNR. We realize that "hate" is not something people are fond of these days, but make no mistake about it - we hate ARNR. What we hope to accomplish as a service is informing our fellow, like-minded Americans as to the myriad of
justified reasons we have to... hate... ARNR.

The reasons that you have to hate ARNR may not be the exact reasons we have to hate ARNR, but there can be solace and companionship in publicly acknowledging that we all, truly, hate ARNR. Please feel free to respond to us here at AAARNR and let us know your own reasons to
hate ARNR and we, together, can experience a unique bond of fellowship.

Personally, I'd like to make a general statement, that if something/someone exists (or has ever existed) that I hate "more" than ARNR, I don't know what/who that would be.

Sincerely,
An American Against