Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Field Report: Holiday World Joins Fight

Fellow Americans,
The following report just came in from "Funky" - the new AAARNR field reporter. Please read his article and also welcome "Funky" to our staff.
AA


Yes, it's true folks. We have our first park on board to defeat the evil ARNR.

Not long ago, when challenged to a bowl-off, ARNR cowered in fear and refused to acknowledge us (knowing site pink slips were on the line). In an effort to rid the world of the dastardly demons that are ARNR, this challenge remains open.

Of all things, I've recently discovered that Holiday World is already prepping for this event. This all looks like some kinda fun at Holiday World, but believe me, they are preparing to defeat the pesky ARNR bowlers (though they still refuse to accept the challenge). We here at AAARNR are grateful to Holiday World for sending us only the best of the best bowlers on their staff. With the help of HW, ARNR doesn't stand a chance.

Thanks HW for all your help in our continuing effort. Rest assured we will contact you when the COWARDLY ARNR accepts the challenge. Until then, keep practicing, although I'm sure there's not much need. If ARNR's bowling skills are like thier journalism skills, we will win easily.

Funky (from the field)

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Um.. dude.
That's just skee-ball. It's not even bowling.

arnr fan

AmericanAgainst said...

Be aware that there's a skee-ball like bowling game at many parks
(complete with pins, etc). The bowling version of "skee ball" requires the same skills required for skee ball - and the same personal character traits required for bowling (meaning being a fun-loving, Lynyrd Skynrd fan, etc).

Here at AAARNR we'll take on ANYONE in ANYTHING that even RESEMBLES bowling.

AA

Anonymous said...

Seems to me like "Funky's" adding to the clunky.

arnr fan

AmericanAgainst said...

LOOK, JERK. IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE SITE THEN GET OUT OF HERE. WE'RE DOING THE BEST WE CAN ON A LIMITED BUDGET. IF I HAD THE MONEY TO OWN MY OWN PLACE THEN THINGS MIGHT BE DIFFERENT, BUT WE CAN'T ALL BE PEOPLE LIKE YOU. WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR SNOTTY NOSED HIGH MINDED ARNR-NESS AND BEAT IT!

Anonymous said...

It's not a site, it's a BLOG.

arnr fan

AmericanAgainst said...

SO WHAT!?

SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!

QUIT MAKING FUN OF US AND LEAVE US ALONE!!!

Anonymous said...

This place is weirder than what I originally thought. Ok, I'll leave you guys alone for now.

arnr fan

WildOnesCoasterClub said...

Don't worry about us ARNR fan. I just moved back in with my parents, so now I'll be able to save up some money. When we get enough we're gonna take this "site" world-wide. You guys smell something. It's the smell of fear, and it's oozing from every pore of ARNR's rotting corpse.

Aaron

Katie said...

Aaron,

I too smell the fear reaking from ARNR fan. I think he is afraid and isn't willing to admit it. We must do an intervention. I think they need help!

Katie, AAARNR couselor

Anonymous said...

We'll take you on in mini-golf at the Dells on August 1. To help it be more even, we'll even agree to be drinking.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. Maybe.

My understanding is that Wisconsin is known for go-karts of various shapes and sizes.

Maybe a kart-off is in order.

Then again, drinking and driving is illegal in most states so...

Maybe it's back to bowling. Most people drink when they bowl anyway.

If we do rock n roll bowling, we should be allowed to pick the background music.

-rev

Anonymous said...

You can play any music you like, so long as it's Def Leppard.

Funky_Cold_Medina said...

Sorry ARN&R, The music will be Duran Duran and Steely Dan.

The game is Bowling, Not Mini Golf, Put Put or a driving range such as you rich people who think your better than us trailer dwellers seem to be good at.

I swear, I bet your even Soccer Fans.

Sheesh.
Funky

Anonymous said...

I was even considering live music
(I might bring my accordian).

I'm reminding myself that the only
(personal) problem I have in theme parks is:
Go karts and Flume rides.

The problem is, they tend to ruin my suit and tie. I guess go-karts are out.

Bowling or mini-golf are ok for me, I suppose.

We could shoot pool, but I'm not allowed to go to pool halls.

I'm not allowed to play cards, either, so forget about poker or anything like that.

-rev

Anonymous said...

How about a nice friendly DDR match between you guys?

You can start off with Duran Duran, providing what machines are there.

Katie said...

no, DDR. These guys are men. They bowl, fish, use go-karts, to which I drive a sweet go-kart! I will gladly take any of you on, IF i decide to go up to the dells, though I highly doubt it.

Katie

Anonymous said...

We don't fish.

Funky_Cold_Medina said...

You could have fooled me ARN&R since you have such Large Mouths :)

Anonymous said...

I would do DDR, but I'm not allowed to dance.

-rev

Anonymous said...

Looking at this clunky blog, we KNOW none of you are into computers.

So what ARE you into?

arnr fan

AmericanAgainst said...

My own profile is posted. I'm into lots of cool things.

AA

WildOnesCoasterClub said...

My profile is posted as well. Check it out. I love X-Files, Star Trek, coasters, Star Wars, comic books, coin collecting, you name it.

And I've seen the Rev on the ole DDR and he rocks harder than Fagan and Becker!

Aaron

Katie said...

Tina, remember you visit ARNR again, I'm bringing out the needles.

Katie

Anonymous said...

Uh oh, the "Anti-ARN&R serum". So far today I have only visited once....(oops!)

Does this mean the AAARN&R paddy wagon is on it's way to take me to the ARN&R detox center? :-/

Oh, so the Rev *is* allowed to dance sometimes? ;-)

-Tina