Extensive Research Confirms - ARNR LIES

Most of you are very much aware of the morbid, sordid, unsightly and unmentionable things you'll encounter when logging on at... that SITE. However, what most of you are probably not aware of is ... that SITE regularly descends to an even lower abyss. To state it clearly and plainly, we at AAARNR have recently assigned research assistants who've bravely agreed to keep us abreast of all the low-down, pathetic morsels of filth being spewed forth from the dark towers of... that SITE. These same research assistants, after reading thousands of hours worth of horrid articles, have also made the strenuous effort of "doing the leg-work" to research the BACKGROUND of these SAME articles in order to see if the claims can be verified. To our complete shock and utter dismay (you might want to sit down and take a deep breath before reading this), not ONLY is ARNR's subject "matter" fit only for public urinals, but ALSO (now hear us out - we can prove it) ALSO... MUCH of ARNR's SUBJECT MATERIAL ITSELF
CONTAINS FLAT OUT LIES!

You're reading this correctly: LIES.

According to our research team, the perfect example of pure LYING is seen in a current article by one "JCK" on the subject of "Ritalin Harpoons." The article states there are (or will soon be) FDA approved "Ritalin Harpoons" available for the public to use on "hyper" youngsters. Fellow Americans, our assistants have put in the time and effort to thoroughly check this out with the FDA ITSELF and have discovered that - BEYOND a SHADOW of a DOUBT - THIS IS A LIE. Nobody at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has EVER even been CONTACTED about the APPROVAL of a so-called "Ritalin Harpoon."

Be mindful, again, we needn't not own this special information to have enough valid reason to avoid... that SITE. We're all well aware that just the subject matter itself is so vile that it shouldn't even be brought up except behind closed doors. However, beyond THAT.... beyond THAT... after hours, days (months) of phone calls, reading of documentation, and in some cases even TRAVEL, our research team is CERTAIN beyond ANY POSSIBILITY of PLAUSIBLE COUNTER-ARGUMENTS that SOME if not MANY of ARNR's "articles" are pure, unadulterated LIES that have LIKELY been MADE UP by AUTHORS such as "JCK."
Some here at AAARNR are even wondering if there IS such an author. Others, are not even completely certain if the site ITSELF exists, but those are subjects we'll tackle at some future time.

Friends, please continue to stay informed through us here at AAARNR as we remain committed to bringing you even more information about ARNR's subject material that you might continue to understand why you should NEVER, for ANY reason grace... that SITE with your presence.

Also, please keep in mind that our research assistants are currently working on a purely volunteer status, though the time and effort they're putting in is the equivalent of at least a
part-time job. That being said, you're all likely aware that with current gas prices and even airline costs, these researchers are sacrificing much on your behalf. Please, if you find this information helpful to your personal lives (and we know you do)... please consider giving small, regular donations to our organization. Checks and money orders can be made payable to AAARNR RESEARCH ASSISTANTS. Our administrators wish to be up-front with the fact that 100% of this money goes to the research assistants and their expenses, and is not in any way used on administrative costs.

We're confident that you, our fellow Americans, will help with this fight in every way you can.

Sincerely,
AA

Funpark President Intensifies His Indictment Against ARNR

Funky (our field reporter) located this intensified indictment against ARNR as posted by JL57, President and Owner of The State Showcase Funpark. Our readers will note that he also directly commends AAARNR in its efforts against ARNR, and exhorts all readers not to waste time "reading an online magazine of such ill repute." Our sentiments exactly.

Tina, if you're reading this: Stop it. Stop it NOW. What more reason could you possibly need? STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

AA

Funpark Founder Exposes ARNR Blunder

Many of you know that JL57 (Jackm50) is the founder/visionary of soon to be revealed revolutionary theme park known as the "State Showcase Funpark." Following ARNR's scathing attack upon him and the Funpark, Jack has now posted concise, documented proof of ARNR's miscalculations (and how this reveals their "lack of abilities and intelligence"). The Funpark founder's thoroughly researched report can be read here.

As you can see, by grossly miscalculating the estimated cost of the Funpark, ARNR has once again evidenced shoddy journalism of the lowest kind.

AA

Field Report: Holiday World Joins Fight

Fellow Americans,
The following report just came in from "Funky" - the new AAARNR field reporter. Please read his article and also welcome "Funky" to our staff.
AA


Yes, it's true folks. We have our first park on board to defeat the evil ARNR.

Not long ago, when challenged to a bowl-off, ARNR cowered in fear and refused to acknowledge us (knowing site pink slips were on the line). In an effort to rid the world of the dastardly demons that are ARNR, this challenge remains open.

Of all things, I've recently discovered that Holiday World is already prepping for this event. This all looks like some kinda fun at Holiday World, but believe me, they are preparing to defeat the pesky ARNR bowlers (though they still refuse to accept the challenge). We here at AAARNR are grateful to Holiday World for sending us only the best of the best bowlers on their staff. With the help of HW, ARNR doesn't stand a chance.

Thanks HW for all your help in our continuing effort. Rest assured we will contact you when the COWARDLY ARNR accepts the challenge. Until then, keep practicing, although I'm sure there's not much need. If ARNR's bowling skills are like thier journalism skills, we will win easily.

Funky (from the field)

"American Woman" Kate Comes on AAARNR Staff

Fellow Americans, I'm proud to introduce Kate as the newest member of the AAARNR staff.
Aside from having years of counseling experience, Kate has also been personally victimized by ARNR (like the other members of our staff). Kate is certain to bring a much needed expertise
for how to be an ARNR overcomer, and her personal testimony should clear up any questions regarding the genuine intentions of this site. Please welcome her.
AA

Week Old Site Prompts Confusion

Fellow Americans, today is the "one week anniversary" of the birth of this fine site. While responses continue pour in from well-meaning people everywhere, some confusion seems to exist concerning our intentions. Some are convinced that that boycott is "bull" (in fairness, likely not meaning the female counterpart to the cow, but instead meaning a "farce," a "scam," a "hoax"). Others, however, are merely seeking clarity to clear up the confusion. An example of this viewpoint is seen in this post by Desmond who signs in as Eric Gieszl. Believe me, we have no intention of prompting confusion in the mind of Desmond who signs in as Eric Gieszl. Whether we're addressing Desmond, Guido De Vido, or anyone else, we want to be as straightforward as possible in our communication (since we're certain they'd be willing to do the same for us). After discussion within the AAARNR staff, we're perplexed as to how our intentions could be misunderstood. Apart from the inaugural articles on this site, Aaron's posted response should provide clarity enough for any who are in doubt about the true, deeply felt, contempt we feel for those despicables who spew forth sordid splatterings of spit and spin.
Sincerely,
AA

Temptation Can Be A Powerful Thing

Earlier today, I was browsing through one of the rollercoaster related message boards I frequent. I usually post on 16 different boards and try to have something new to say on each one, each day. On this particular board, I saw a post linking to that other "site". I quickly read through the post and what the person had to say sounded very humorous. "Maybe", I thought, "I could just go check out this one story at ARNR. It's not like they're making fun of ME." The temptation to stray from our hard line was overwhelming. Unfortunately, I clicked on the link and ARNR started to come up. "Stop!" screamed a voice from somewhere in my head. "Is it really worth it?" I instantly realized what I was doing was wrong! I quickly closed the browser window before I saw anything I would regret. I shut down the 'net and went to do some yardwork. I know the temptation to "take a quick peak" at ARNR is strong. I almost fell for it myself. Stay strong and don't give in to the temptation. With hard work and determination, we will meet our ultimate goal, and the online rollercoaster community will be free from evil once again.

Aaron

I Know a Guy Named Al

I know a guy named Al who likes ARNR. Not me, I hate ARNR.

Support Pours In For Landmark Start

Being that the response to this site has started out in such an enormous showing of force, it's likely to accomplish its given purpose sooner than what we initially expected. In some ways, we pity ARNR. When the ARNR towers fall, all of us "commoners" will have the last laugh (even though nobody here is laughing very much right now). Still, we hold our heads high. As the Journey song goes - we "don't stop believing." Some seem to think that presently there are only a couple of people involved in this effort, but they couldn't be more wrong. There are actually, well... three. There's Aaron... (wasn't that a splendid article below? If you haven't read it I highly recommend scrolling down and checking it out). As I was saying, there's Aaron, there's me... and, well... there's also my mom who keeps giving me advice (some of which I listen to). Numbers don't really matter to us though - it's INTENSITY that counts. Believe me, the THREE of us are INTENSLY committed to NEVER reading ARNR. Also, sure... I'll admit it gets lonely at times, but not having any friends anymore is nothing compared to the satisfication and sense of accomplishment we share.

I envy us.

-AA

A Change of Heart

When I first discovered Absolutely Reliable News and Rumors, I read the site with great zeal. I couldn't help but laugh at how they made fun of those dorky coaster enthusiasts. I would check the site every day to see who would be next on the hit list. Oh how I laughed when I saw the first rip of Robb Alvey on ARNR! What a great time I had reading about JackM50 and his State Showcase Funpark! Then one day, there it was. A friend of mine, one of the actual cool coaster enthusiasts, appeared on ARNR. "Well," I thought, "one little comment isn't too bad." I continued (like many of you) to read the site. A couple of days later, there it was again. This time me. My good name was put up for all to see. "Look at this idiot!" they seemed to be saying. My world was shattered. No longer were these fun-loving friends of fanactical fury. They were doing something wrong, something evil. I quickly realized how wrong I had been to read that site. I quickly vowed to no longer frequent the site. No longer would I support evil! Within days I started "The Thread" and the rest, as they say, is history. Scores of people joined my side. Within a month, ARNR's hit count dropped by over 50%. Today, their readership is only 1/3 what it once was. We will continue to fight through persecution until our goal is accomplished and hatred is wiped out. Soon, justice will prevail and ARNR will die. Thank you for your support.

WildOne

Hatred Has Some Exceptions

Many of you are well versed in the hatred and contempt we have here at "Americans Against" for the low-life sickness known as ARNR. We realize that "hate" is not something people are fond of these days, but make no mistake about it - we hate ARNR. What we hope to accomplish as a service is informing our fellow, like-minded Americans as to the myriad of
justified reasons we have to... hate... ARNR.

The reasons that you have to hate ARNR may not be the exact reasons we have to hate ARNR, but there can be solace and companionship in publicly acknowledging that we all, truly, hate ARNR. Please feel free to respond to us here at AAARNR and let us know your own reasons to
hate ARNR and we, together, can experience a unique bond of fellowship.

Personally, I'd like to make a general statement, that if something/someone exists (or has ever existed) that I hate "more" than ARNR, I don't know what/who that would be.

Sincerely,
An American Against