ARNR Expands Their Empire Of Evil

In a move to attract more attention to themselves (Who am I kidding? Any attention to themselves would be nice.), ARNR has expanded their reaches into "taking care" of animals while people are on vacation or at work. No one is sure what the group means by "taking care", but you can probably guess. I guess when no one visits your website, you need to expand somehow. We at AAARNR&TPR would like to wish the group success in their new venture. (It can't be any worse than their current crap!)

Interview with Former ARNR chief

I don't want to clog up the main page with the interview, so click on the comments for this article to read a very insightful interview with former ARNR head JCK.

Aaron

The Theme Park Review Boycott is on again, STRONGER THAN EVER!

OK, I'd thought about giving them some leeway in lew of the recent addition.
But see, they're bashing a coaster already so the "BOYCOTT IS ON AGAIN!"

Shame on you TPR! We should have known better than to give you one minute of momentum.

SO WHAT IF IT'S SOB? You're not even giving it a chance.
BTW, we also blame you for the death of Psyclone!

SHAME!
SHAME!
SHAME!

Funky

Huh?

Uh, maybe it's just me, but I don't get it.

www.coastertools.com

More Proof of Theme Park Review NWO link

Two more pictures have recently surfaced providing astounding evidence that Robb and Elissa Alvey are not only members of the New World Order, but also reptilians (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Reptilian_Agenda). This evil alien race is set to take over the world, and these 2 appear to be in the forefront of that movement. If any more proof is needed, I don't know what it would be. Theme Park Review is run by Reptilians!

Recent Poll reveals "No One Cares About ARNR!"

A recent poll was conducted to determine the relevance of Absolutely unReliable Lies & Mistruths (or ARNR as we call them). The results were no surprise to those of us at AAARNR&TPR. Of the 5,000 people surveyed, here are the most common responses:

4,996 people responded, "What in the heck is ARNR?"
3 people replied, "I hate those jerks! They made fun of me and my friends."
1 person responded with a weird look on his face, asking, "I thought that piece of crap site shut down years ago."

Overall, the results are conclusive, nobody cares about ARNR! Very few people have even heard of the site, and those who have think it's stupid. ARNR are losers!

ARNR Founder Joins the Boycott

I don't know how I didn't notice this until now, but it appears that former ARNR writer JCK has joined in with the Boycott. In a recent blog post, he apologizes for his part in the evil or ARNR and vows to help the Boycott out anyway he can. Go here and go down to the 14th reply:

https://www2.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=13645134&postID=7469901047121850106&isPopup=true

Welcome aboard JCK! We're glad that you've seen the light!

EVIDENCE ROLLS IN ABOUT THE DEATH OF ARNR

Not that we really needed anymore evidence after that amazing Cedar Point post a few days ago, but here are the nails in the coffin of ARNR anyway:

http://www.ultimaterollercoaster.com/forums/cgi/forum1.cgi?read=177640
http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=33306
http://www.screamscape.com/html/geauga_lake.htm - Make note of the "All American Cornhole Toss"
http://www.rideworld.com/boards/index.php?showtopic=1633&pid=12591&st=0&#entry12591
http://www.pointbuzz.com/maverickconstruction.htm
http://coasterbuzz.com/forum.aspx?mode=thread&TopicID=46567

I think those pretty much settle it.

ARNR PRACTICES DIVERSITY

In an effort to be more accomadating of special interest groups, Absolutely Reliable has recently taken on a new intern. This young man has numerous social and mental conditions that require medical treatment and medication. As can be readily evidenced from his posts, the young intern has a severe case of Tourettes syndrome, causing him to use an extremely inappropriate amount of profanity. While some sites would delete these posts in an effort to clean up their site, ARNR has chosen to leave them. This is apparently being done to promote free speech and to get the word out about this horrible illness. The young man also has a severe bipolar bent to him as can be seen by his constant states of hypomania. These and other problems seem to be the result of lead poisoning as a very young man. While it's difficult to be 100% certain as to the cause of these issues, the cure is simple. Let him express his anger, his frustrations, his mania, and his rage in a public forum so the whole world (or at least the 6 people who read ARNR) can see it.

Unlike some sites that would shy away from allowing such a person on their site (especially in his current, unmedicated state), ARNR has allowed him full access to all aspects of their site. While we still hate ARNR and will continue to Boycott them, AAARNR&TPR salute them for giving this young man a chance that many others would not give someone with his problems. Everyone does something right every once in a while and this seems to be that time for ARNR. We salute you for your patriotism ARNR. Now back to the Boycott!

PICTURES DON'T LIE: Proof of the TPR-NWO connection

We at AAARNR&TPR have the proof we have been looking for connecting the Alveys of TPR with the New World Order. Here is a picture of a recent occultic ceremony at Bohemian Grove (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bohemian_Grove):

I don't know about you, but that guy in the middle with the arrow pointing at him looks an awful lot like Robb Alvey to me. We rest our case.

OK: NOW WE'RE MAD

As if we thought we'd seen it all. As if we thought the derision and spittle on our faces couldn't get worse, we discover THIS. Whoever is responsible for THIS...
will die.

AA

LOCAL POLICE PUT OUT A.P.B.

I know sometimes we have a lot of fun on here, but this is serious business. I'll just copy and paste the article directly from the AP:

Police across the country are on the lookout for a mentally ill female. The suspect known simply as "Meg" has been reported for stalking various members of the rollercoaster enthusiast community. The suspect's motivation seems to be a demented love for the victim of the crime, who has requested to remain unnamed. Several photos were sent to the victim depicting the suspect in various states of undress. A strange car was also seen outside the victim's house several times during the past week.

Police report a similar incident several months ago involving "Trekkies" or Star Trek fans and a stalker named "Megan". If you have any information about this horrible crime, please contact your local police department or call the FBI.

So there it is. Pretty scary stuff if you ask me. Everyone just keep your eyes open for this "Meg" person and hopefully they'll catch this person so they can get the help they need.

Aaron

EXTRA EXTRA READ IT HERE FIRST

www.coastertools.com recently released a new comic that was almost (not quite, but almost) funny. The enthusiast community has been taken aback by a recent comic on www.coastertools.com. The comic strip entitled "Free Parking!" was reported to bring forth a chuckle from several readers. We at AAARNR are a little cautious about www.coastertools.com and believe that you too should be, but this one (http://coastertools.com/?cid=11) is worth checking out. Fans of the site www.coastertools.com were not disappointed, however, when the next comic (http://coastertools.com/index.php) immediately went back to the same mediocrity we are used to from www.coastertools.com. So, if you are really, really, really bored, go to www.coastertools.com and check out the comic entitled "Free Parking!". Just be cautious about it while you're there.

Proof ARNR is losing

As long as threads like this still exist, there's no way anyone can convince us ARNR is winning. ARNR HAS to be losing. The Golden Age remains alive and well!

AA

Poster "Justin" paid stooge of ARNR

Our undercover agents are hard at work and have again turned up another breaking story. Seems that this "Justin" fellow who has been posting here is being paid a monthly fee by ARNR to try and disrupt the Boycott! Sorry, fellas, it ain't gonna work. And Justin (if that's your real name), you should be ashamed of yourself you big, fat sellout!

Hijacking the boards

Members, the boycott is about to take the next step. It is a most dangerous step that will involve infiltration into enemy territory. I would like to encourage all members of the boycott to register for ARNR's message boards. After doing so, we will proceed to fill the boards with Boycott material. So much, in fact, that the evil website may have to shut down their boards. No big deal since their boards are dead, dead, dead. No action there at all. So everyone head on over there and win one for the Boycott!

Sources at Screamscape say Elissa's A MAN in drag.

Sources from a reliable website tell us Elissa is actually a man.

This furthers our belief that TPR peple are part of the EVIL ILLUMINATI.

I knew it, I just knew it!

Funky

Theme Park Review part of Luciferian New World Order Agenda

AAARNR sources have confirmed what has been suspected for years: the heads of Theme Park Review, Robb and Ellisa Alvey, are part of a multi-national plan to control the world. The Illuminati (meaning "enlightened ones") have been working underground since before the time of Christ to rule the world. This group consists of several hundred of the most influencial people in the world: politicians, members of royal familes, businessmen, and even heads of hobbyist clubs like Theme Park Review. On a recent TPR trip to Japan, the duo were conspicuously absent from a session of ERT. Inside sources confirm that the two were at a top secret meeting instead. Also in attendance at the meeting were Vice President Dick Cheney, J.K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame, and billionaire Ted Turner. Details of the meeting are obviously not available but rumor has it that the removal of Six Flags Theme Parks was part of the agenda. Shortly afterwards, Six Flags sold off a bunch of parks. Beware of getting too close to these two Illuminati members. The NWO has a goal of lowering the Earth's population to under half a billion people (that's 95% of the people alive dead). Remember this next time you give money to TPR.

ARNR LOSING THE WAR

According to rcdb.com (one of the best sites on the web), there will be 72 new coasters opening in 2007. Sure, they may have shut down a couple of rides here and there, but 72 NEW COASTERS! Woohoo! Take that ARNR!

In related news, Theme Park Review has already planned a trip to ride all 72 new coasters. The trip will cost $6.3 million and is only available to the first 20 people. It will include ERT and stuff. You can even get a mediocre DVD of the trip included in the cost. The first 10 people to sign up even get an autographed picture of Robb and Elissa. Hurry! Spots are filling up quick. Don't delay. Act now!

AAARNR Votes and the results are in:

Meg is a hottie!!!!!